you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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