Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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