I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
