So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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