Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
