This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
