I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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