How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
