Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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