im drinking this country out of the recession.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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