she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Rumble strips road head = magical
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize