bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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