During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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