That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
