She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize