I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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