are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
