"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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