Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
