forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
