eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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