Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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