Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
