so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
