I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
