we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
