mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
