you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
