i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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