After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
