He had one of those small greek statue penises
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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