I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
