how can u be prego again
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
