Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
