Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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