Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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