in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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