Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wish I only lived at night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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