I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
