Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize