Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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