I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
