I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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