If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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