Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
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It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.