I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do