anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
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I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies