i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i came on her dog
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
