i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
