Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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