I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
