Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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