It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
