my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
