How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
