By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
