Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
