dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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