She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
